I'd like to ask you a question. What do you see here?
I'm going to assume that some of you already know where this is going. For those of you who don't, allow me to help you out:
I'm writing this because I'm sick of douchebag college-going bros that think they're total skaters while they roll down the street on their 20-foot longboards.
Longboards are not used for skating. They are used for transportation and giving the illusion that the owner is cool. While a skater might be out searching for a new spot, or thrashing it up during a night session, or getting harassed the cops, a longboarder would most likely already know the cop from football practice. Then he would return to his frat house with all of his moron buddies and do a kegstand all night.
Most longboarders don't even know what a kickflip is. Tell you what, next time you see a longboarder, ask him what a kickflip is. I guarantee you'll get something along these lines:
"Oh, whoa, I, uh, don't really know, bro. Sorry, man. Hey, uh, you don't know where I could get some bud, do ya?"
LONGBOARDERS ARE NOT SKATERS. THEY ARE ASSHOLES AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.
So the next time you see a longboarder riding his way lazily down the street with his backwards hat and his cargo shorts and his Oakley rip-off sunglasses, tossing a frisbee around with his C-minus buddies, do the right thing. Call him a faggot and tell him to get a real skateboard.