Thursday, April 16, 2009

Four Reasons that Family Guy Sucks

4. We get it, Seth. You're a liberal.

Seth MacFarlane(creator of the show) seems to feel that he is the sole purveyor of wisdom on the entirety of television. He thinks he needs to show the world how stupid conservatives are via predictable plots involving conroversial subjects(immigration, abortion, vegetarianism, etc.). But the fact is that conservatives don't watch the show. They don't even care about it. The only thing that comes from Seth MacFarlane's attempts to show the world his intellect is another boring, predictable storyline that ends with Brian or Lois stating a view that they present as a fact. And, from this, his liberal 13-20something-year-old fanbase gets a smug sense of superiority and thoughts like, "Boy, I bet those conservatives are soooo pissed right now!"

Note: I am a liberal. I agree with almost every stance Seth takes on such issues. I just don't want to see 20 minutes of Republican-bashing presented as funny.

3."Uh oh, this joke isn't funny." "Well, then, let's make it 3 minutes long."

Never before have I seen a show that does this so frequently. Instead of actually coming up with something funny, Family Guy drags something out for minutes on end and hopes to get a nervous laugh. I'm sure that anyone who is familiar with the show will know what the "Chicken Fight" joke is. An event is interrupted by Peter fighting a giant chicken for a reason that I'm sure most people can't even remember. They fight. And fight. And continue fighting. It eventually ends with the chicken appearing to be dead, although at the last second, he opens his eye, ensuring that the already god-awful writers can use him again if they need to fill up more time and they don't feel like being creative.

Of course, this is only one joke. There are numerous running gags throughout the show that abuse this idea, and yet people still seem to find it funny. Why? I cannot understand.

2. A Complete List of Every Family Guy Joke Ever

Family Guy's writers are so uncreative and unimaginative that I can list every type of joke it has ever used without breaking a sweat.

1. Angry monkey
2. Family hates Meg
3. Musical (These aren't even jokes. They're just songs.)
4. 1980's pop culture/sitcom/movie joke
5. Sexual innuendo, courtesy of Peter
6. Neighbor joke (Joe = disabled, Cleveland = black, Quagmire = nymphomaniac)
7. Modern pop culture/sitcom/movie joke
8. Non-sequitor joke
9. Callback to an older episode
10. Stewie wants to fuck Brian
11. Failed attempt to be edgy
12. Someone falls down really quickly

Every episode of Family Guy uses a mixture of these premises to produce one tired, recycled joke after another.

1. "Like the time I..."

Yes, I realize that South Park made this point very clear three years ago, but the point has only become stronger since then.

I'm sure you've all noticed it. Every 30 seconds, Family Guy makes one of those completely random jokes that have nothing to do with he current situation. They'll reference an 80's sitcom, make fun of a celebrity, or have a character's flashback. These jokes have no bearing on the current storyline, nor do they derive anything from it. Most of the time, they don't even have a point or a punch line. These jokes are tired and interchangeable, and Family Guy makes them so often that it makes watching the show less of an enjoyable experience and more of a chore.

Well, there you go. There are dozens of other reasons that Family Guy sucks, but these are the ones that I feel most strongly about.


  1. +1. Family guy sucks. I agree too, that those are the worst-- along with "Simpsons did it" problems.

  2. True, but American Dad is AWESOME!